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GoT S4 E10

It's the return of the Mance, return of the Mance.
Great opening scene with Mance and Jon, the coming of Stannis was great too, but no Dalla or Val?

Qyburn! Here's comes 'Robert Strong'!

Oh snaps. Cersei done tole Tywin! that's something that could have happened in the books but I don't remember. Interesting although entirely inconsequential :)

Dany. still boring. but DRAGONS! yay!

Oh,Shireen and Selyse came with Stannis. with the lack of Mance's baby....i wonder if Melisandre will try to burn Shireen instead...

oh neat, that scene where Melisandre looks at Jon through the fire. pretty great.

Jojen ;_; Jojen forever. I am legit in tears. i mean, it's departure from the books but it's still impactful.


my heart is broken.


after a breather.

Leaf looks neat. I am sorrowfully disappointed that BloodRaven is not hella sexy. in my head he's like WOAH.

Brienne getting up from nowhere made me LOL tho.


(i super hate that Brienne is talking to Arya, btw)
holy fuck, did she just bite The Hound's fucking ear off?wtfwtfwtf. seriously gross.
I actually really like that The Hound's fate is still ambiguous and that Brienne took him down, but i was hoping that Arya would tell him that he didn't deserve mercy.

I loved the playing of Reins of Castemere at Tywin's death. TOO BAD HE DIDN'T SAY WHEREEVER WHORES GO. what will Tyrion have to say in the next season?!

Totally cried at Valar Morghulis/Valar Dohaeris.

but...but...the didn't do Lady Stoneheart...

i ...



why do I even bother?

Because I'm a glutton for punishment. it's like doing shrooms, i know i don't like them and yet, every few years I have to remind myself why.

So my grandfather (my ex step grandfather, i suppose, but he raised me like his own (kinda) until we had a falling out when I was 14ish) spends more of the year in Jamaica and comes back to Toronto for a few weeks in the summer. Last time he was here I asked my Aunt (she's 6 years older than me, we grew up like sisters) to inform me so we could all go out for a nice dinner together, i would even attempt to wrangle my younger brother, which is a piece of fucking work, let me tell you.

so the new year comes around, my aunt texts me to let me know that her father is in town. I say great, when can we all meet up, i can do any evening, preferable during the week, except for Mondays cuz i have class. Like for most people, I will drop anything to do something for you, in this case, it is for me, I like to pretend every once and a while, that I have a family or that the kinda-blood related family get along. So my aunt is going on vacay, she will text me when she returns. ok.
see, the thing about my aunt is that i don't think she's a particularly nice person, although she likes to pretend she is. she will never, ever, ever go out of her way for me but i will always drop anything for her had she ever asked.

case A) a long time ago i asked her to co-sign so i could get an apartment, she said no. (which i totally understand, i wouldn't have co-signed for me either)

case B) when i was going through OSAP issues and far more stable of a person (this was like 2 years ago) i asked her to co-sign for a loan to pay my tuition rather than go through OSAP. she flat out said no. thanks Aunt!

case C) just this year, around my bday, my brother actually texted me to ask if I was doing anything, after I got over the shock i asked my aunt if she could come to a bday dinner, she basically said that the only way that was going to happen is if me and my brother trekked to the area where her condo is. bitch has a car. i don't even know if TTC goes to where she lives (somewhere in Mississauga), i said that was near impossible and so she nixed the idea. like, she won't even do that for me.

so she returns from vacation and i get a text today basically saying that she is just TOO busy to have dinner with me, her father and maybe my brother. She has relatives coming (more important than me, we live in the same city and never see each other), so she has to 'clean', her father doesn't leave until the 30th of June, apparently, she can't spare even 2 fucking hours for me. cool.

i think i have to cut her off too, it's just too much rejection, especially on the heels of yesterday.
I try so hard for people who just aren't worth it.


Update: so after a couple of texts back and forth, I have decided to cut her off completely. That means that I am now officially cut off from all the female members of the family and I can tell you that it's not me. She accepted that I was hurt but, her of all people, who saw how I grew up, should know better and that she can't or won't says volumes.

ah well. so it goes.
Be excellent to each other, all I can do is be excellent to my chosen family <3
My roommate is graduating today! yay! very happy, much proud. We started the program at the same time, she focused on Archives I took the Individual path (of course).

She asked me to come and see her in her robe before the ceremony, they are allotted a certain amount of tickets and she knew I wouldn't want to go to the ceremony anyway, but she wanted me to come for a bit on her big day and how could I say no, even though I didn't want to.

Why wouldn't I want to see someone i've lived with for like 7 years on the biggest day of her life so far? because it's a family thing. Most of the now former students don't really want to be there, but it's a huge deal for their parents. Little Jack and/or Jill has done made them proud, look what they made, and it's not just high school or a BA, it's a Masters Degree from University of Toronto, it's a big deal. How sweet. Much love. so so proud.

yeah, that's why. it's still tough being around families. it's still tough seeing families. I'm reading the part in I Know Why The Caged Bird Sing where Maya graduates (oddly coincidental) and i'm tearing up through the whole thing cuz her family is so proud of her. It's a look on a mother's face that I'll never see. It's the love and pride in a hug that i'll never receive.
Most of the time it's easy to sweep this shit under the rug and let it lie with the bones of other problematic emotions but when it's directly in my face it's harder than climbing to Mount Doom and relinquishing the One Ring to it's death. Even though it's for the best, you just don't want to let go, constantly grasping at air.

From the things I don't remember and the things I can't never gets easier you just work around it or drown in self-pity, because realistically, it could be so much worse.

Even therapy can't help this. Just close your eyes and pretend.

That being said, I'm trying to not drink at all during the week but I think i'll have to break that rule. It's gonna be a melancholy night.

GoT S4 E9




even though i know Ygritte dies, it was harsh seeing it...and Olly with his little nod like, LOOK I HALP. well, i dunno, would she have killed him otherwise? Maybe not show Ygritte, but possibly book Ygritte.

Course, book Ygritte doesn't have the opportunity to choose.

Fucking Janos Slynt cowarding with Gilly, fucking guy.
Were they totally setting up for new Lord Commander or what? I'm excited for Stannis' army to join in the fight, why wasn't Ghost with Jon on his way to see Mance? I wonder if they will have Dalla/Val (probably one person) there too.

I hate hate hated the 'romantical' music playing while Sam basically broke his vows, gimme a break.


oh, hay jon 'bout you take YOUR FUCKING DIREWOLF with you out into the goddamn wild?

he seriously knows nothing.

can't wait for next week's episode, all the things!

and now i spend all my time reading what other people thought:
Allison Keene over at Collider speaks the words I mean to say
"Killing Pyp and Green seemed cheap ways to elicit feelings in this hour, especially when their characters could have been (and in other tellings of the same story, are) useful in the future as important (and few) allies for Jon. And Jon going to Mance on his own instead of being sent (in the hopes he would die) very much changes the underlying politics at Castle Black.


I figure that Sam probably doesn't need to slyly enter Jon's name into the Kettle nor, probably, have to trick Cotter Pike and Ser Dennys (do these people even exist in the show?) so now Jon has even less allies as he moves into the role of Lord Commander unless you count Bloodraven, of course (SNOW SNOW CORN KETTLE) birdy.

It was unnecessary to kill off Pyp and Grenn and it makes me doubt their future in the books, which is something I hate.

My second issue was having Jon take initiative and go off to see Mance himself. However, i feel like this is something that will be huge points for him to become the LC.

Loved the Maester Aemon scene, I will cry like a baby when he (finally, like this dude is OLD old) shuffles off his royal mortal coil.

GoT S4 E8

don't understand this Grey Worm + Missandei love story, what purpose could this made-up romance (she's 10 in the books) possibly serve? one of them will die a horrible death and this is meant to make it more meaningful? I call book spoilers. or bullshit. one of the two.

Dany = still boring. Next.

They reallllly sped up Theon's storyline, eh? He doesn't go to Moat Cailin until the most recent book, but i guess they had to do something with him. although, realistically, (but not probable since the show directors are literally spoon feeding the audience now) they should have had him disappear only to reappear in like, season 6ish as Reek and then start this all.

I should write for this show. except that I would put too much faith in the audience, you know, i'd think they were smart. WILL NOT PLAY IN PEORIA!

i like how theon just has to say the house words and relate his immediate lineage and they are all like 'OK YOU ARE WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE MY PRINCE'

Ooof, that slow pan up the length of Littlefinger....oooh guuurrrlllll

Lady Arryn's suicide, heh, well, i guess. see, it's all of these little things, like i know there's a time constraint, but the viewers just lose soo much of the intrigue of the story by eliminating Marillion's fake accusation and subsequent punishment, you lose seeing just how tricksy & sly Littlefinger really is.

Sansa -- what. the. fuck. is. going. on. I feel like this ruined the big Sansa reveal in the books. bad form, producers. but i shouldn't be shocked, they are fucking most things up anyhow and i do understand that they are difficult books to work with.

oh, another Dany scene. I can't even. even tho I <3 Jorah, i just, she just annoys me.
it's a long scene. i'm bored.

debastardization of Ramsey Snow was mediocre. i dunno, i didn't get the feels. anyway, To Winterfell and poor poor jeyne pool. if they do that. but who knows.

hmmm, looks like The Hound will succumb from his wounds, I hope they do it in a way that is ambiguous because i'm super hoping that the returns from being a monk and gets Sansa out of a last minute jam. ....

........and THEN is killed.

I'm just gonna write the next book.

so my reaction to The Hound naming Arya at the Eyrie:


because fuck you, tv show.

although Arya's reaction was amazing <3

Great foreshadowing by LF to that mewling quim, Robert (wanna punch his dumb face) of Tywin's death.
I need Sansa's dress ;_;

so these Jamie & Tyrion Inna Cell talks only irate me slightly (they made me cry too, so there's that...i mean that scene from E7 where they are laughing together & then realize that it may be their last....soul crushing, well done boys) anyway, the part that upsets me is that Tyrion often refers to Jamie & Cersei. I dont think they do that in the books but Tyrion has mentioned it multiple times. why? I really liked that they didn't in the books (as far as i can remember) it was some kind of honour between them....ah well.

and I don't hate on the show, i know it seems that way, for instance, i love these touching cell moments and i love the addition of Jamie admitting that the old Maester used to try to touch him (once) and Tyrion speeding right by it. that's pretty great.

aha, and now the dreaded scene yes? i've seen the photos of the pulpy head already, and i'm definitely not planning on actually watching it, i'll close my eyes ;_; i love oberyn so fucking much, this will be hard.

dem air spins. *sploosh* well, i watched it with my hands over my face and even the sounds made my stomach churn.

:( RIP Oberyn.
Everything is differenty!

anyway, I'm all caught up on GoT, anyone want to discuss?

SPOILERS!Collapse )

Dec. 14th, 2010

I always forget how much I prefer LJ to FB.

So xmas is coming. and you know what's going to happen? i'm going to have to get a loan from money mart and i'll spiral right down into a loan hole. (heheh. hole). It's awful, but I should be getting about $400 so I should be able to get back out of it.

I hate that money mart loan black pit of death, but it's saved my ass more times than I can remember and for this i'm's a christmas miracle.

Today is my work's holiday potluck. i generally hate this. I rarely speak to anyone while i'm here except for the people i have too (i work in the 'office-parent company' side, but there are lots of people who work in the technical side who i rarely interact with.
suffice to say, i'm pretty anti-social...they must all think that I'm a huge snobby bitch...just like at Sanctuary!

anyway, its a torment, cuz i just want to stand by the buffet and pig out, but i'm too shy so i eat next to nothign and stand around both hoping and dreading having to talk to people...the worst kind of talk too..small talk.

i'm too weird for these people, they are so normal and 'adult', one of the girls, i cant even tell how old she is, it's possible she's my age, but she's married and gots a baby and looks like..10 years older (that's what happens to you, ladies! stay away from mens!)

Why do I sit like a Quasimodo at my desk, I find that I raise one shoulder (always the right) and just stay like that...i do it a lot..not even only when i'm at my desk. wtf. must stop doing this.

my precious....

I remember when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows came out and I was reading it...and reading it...and reading it...and getting more and more disgusting...

really, could JK Rowling have lifted any MORE from other stories? you gotta be kidding me.

Harry Potter follows a white animal to a lake where there is a sword? come the fuck on.

he's already had to destroy a ring, wearing the locket makes people mean, the old lady's last name was BAGSHOT. bagshot. as in Bagshot Row. as in where Bilbo Baggins lives.
The house elves look like Gollum and Creature ACTS like Gollum

I could go on and on..

Now, I understand tropes (white animal, mysterious swords in lakes) but some of these things are really specific. I understand that the house elves design and acting weren't of JK Rowlings design, but perhaps someone should have said "hey...its basically Gollum with more clothes and bigger ears"
But I also understand that JK doesn't consider her books fantasy (I read this somewhere, I dont remember it is, i found it: ). so then she has no excuse, it's just blatant plagiarizing.

The saddest part of the movie was when I realized that Bill Nighy wasn't going to be in it anymore :(

Dec. 7th, 2010

KITTIES! We were thinking last night (really drunkenly) about how awful it's going to be when our cats dies, especially since 3 of them are really close in age, with 2 of them born on the same day. Barring accidents and disease, one year in the future is going to be really tough.

The printer at work (which is behind me) is making strange creaky sounds, I think there's Gremlins in it, just in time for Christmas!

You ever look at your user pic and be like "wow, that photo is old, but I totally remember that night", that's how I feel about my userpic for this post..and also, will I ever be that thin again? One can dream.

my bookses.

ever wondered what my library looked like? well, thats too bad. However, i can give you a list of what books i own.

latest additions:

Jeanette Winterson: Lighthouse Keeping
Sarah Waters: Fingersmith
Walter Miller Jr: Canticle for Leibowitz

Terry Pratchett:
Johnny and the Dead
Going Postal (stage adaptation)
Montrous Regiment (stage adaptation)

Comic Books:
Birds of Prey: Manhunt #1

heres the whole list as of today.Collapse )


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